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3rd World Products, Inc.
Book IX

Copyright©2006 by Ed Howdershelt
ISBN 1-932693-28-9
Caution: Some Erotic Content
Note: I'm not going to re-introduce everybody.
Read my other 3WP-Books before starting Book IX.

Chapter Two

    I let the screen dissolve as the Lincoln made the turn, then pulled into my driveway. Two men in suits got out and looked at the house and my 1984 Olds, then walked up the driveway.
    Sipping my coffee, I said, "Hi, there."
    Casting another glance around, one of the men asked me if I was me, reading my name from a folded sheet of paper that I recognized as a Sheriff's office incident report. No point in ducking the question.
    Nodding, I admitted, "Yup. That's me. You guys lawyers?"
    He glanced at his companion, then said, "Uh, no, sir. Some people with my company would like to talk to you."
    Looking past them at the Lincoln, I asked, "Are they in the car?"
    "Ah... no, sir, they aren't. They sent me -- us, that is -- to contact you when you couldn't be reached by phone."
    "Didn't it occur to anyone that I might not want to be reached? Who wants to talk to me? What's it about?"
    Glancing at his friend again, the guy said, "I was just told to contact you, sir, and invite you to visit our offices."
    Shaking my head, I replied, "Can't go right now. I'm about to head over to the Sheriff's office to make a report."
    He brightened a bit. "We could take you and you could..."
    "No, thanks," I interrupted, "I have to get going now."
    Standing up, I hung my coffee mug on a pants pocket and called up my board. When the six-foot plank of grey field energy appeared by my feet, both guys stepped back quickly and one of them briefly stepped outside his impersonally polite, corporate character as he yelped, 'Whoa, shit!'
    "Thanks for stopping by," I said, then I stepped onto the board and aimed it up and away from my yard.
    As I stepped off the board at the Sheriff's office, Tiger pinged me. When I answered, he said, "Ed, two men were here when I came home. They went away in a car."
    "I know, Tiger. Let me know if they come back."
    "Okay. We found a new alligator today. A little one."
    How do you answer something like that?
    A Sheriff's car pulled into the lot and parked as I replied, "Very good, Tiger. You didn't bring it home, did you?"
    "No. Elkor said it had to live at the lake."
    I thought, 'Good ol' Elkor.'
    "He's right, Tiger. Alligators need a lot of water."
    A blonde lady deputy got out of the patrol car and approached me with a quizzical look.
    "Tiger," I said, "A lady wants to talk with me. We'll talk about alligators later, okay?"
    "Okay." He dropped the link as the deputy came to stand a few feet from me. Her nametag read 'Hall'.
    "Sir, are you okay?"
    Pretending to check myself over, I replied, "Guess so."
    "You seemed to be talking to someone just now." She cleared her throat gently and added, "But I didn't see a cell phone. Are you sure you're okay?"
    For a moment, I considered telling her I'd been talking to my cat -- who was at home -- about baby alligators. Just to see how she'd take it, y'know? But reason prevailed.
    Thumbing over my shoulder, I said, "Deputy Hall, I'm going inside. Why not ask Detective Greer that question?"
    I held the door open, but she gestured me ahead of her, so in I went. When I reached Greer's desk, he waved me to a seat, looked beyond me for a moment, and said, "Just a minute," as he went to talk with the ladybear a few yards away.
    When he returned, he grinned and said, "I told her not to worry about it. Wendy's new; she came to us from Jacksonville. She'll be back in a minute to take your report. Did a couple of guys from Westco Industries come by?"
    "Yup. I told 'em I had to come here and split. Tiger said they left a few minutes ago."
    "Tiger... oh. Your cat. Is that who you were talking to when she saw you?"
    "Yeah. Think I ought to try to explain that to her?"
    He laughed, "If you do, I'd like to watch."
    Wendy returned and took me to another desk, where I described the chopper incident as she typed. After reading the document, I signed it, said goodbye, and waved to Greer as I headed for the front doors.
    He waved back and Hall sat staring at me as if bewildered that I was being allowed to leave. In the reflection from the glass doors, I saw her get up and drop the papers on her desk as she followed me.
    I waited a few seconds at the sidewalk. She'd almost reached the glass doors when I called up my board, stepped onto it, and put it in motion.
    Hall froze with a hand on the door and a big-eyed stare. I waved, but she didn't wave back as I lifted out of the parking lot. Oh, well. I sat on the board, sipped coffee, and watched the world pass below as I considered the evening ahead.
    Jessie had made no secret of pretty much hating me during the years I'd been with Selena. She'd seen me as the reason her darling niece hadn't dated guys her own age; guys who might have married Sel and produced children.
    In the beginning, I'd tried to be pleasant and deferential, but that hadn't helped even a little bit, so I'd eventually given it up in favor of generally avoiding her as I had Joanie.
    Most times avoidance had been possible. When it hadn't been possible, Jessie and I had politely snarled at each other, but we'd usually managed to avoid outright arguments.
    During my last year or so with Sel, Jessie's conversational barbs had become pretty vicious at times. I once tried to explain to her that Sel's graduation and move to Tallahassee would end our time together, but if that had made any difference to Jessie, it hadn't been apparent to me.
    Yet, after all that, Selena seemed to think I'd be able to just waltz in and invite Jessie to dinner or whatever. Well, she was right. Sort of. I could invite her regardless of how any invitation of mine might be perceived or received.
    I decided not to worry about it and thought about what there might be to do in Tallahassee. Hm. Didn't know the restaurants. Didn't know the city's pleasures or treasures.
    Calling up a screen, I sent a ping to Sel's datapad. When she answered, I said, "I don't know anything about Tallahassee. Where or what has Jessie mentioned with any interest?"
    Apparently racking her brain for a moment, Sel finally shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing I can remember, anyway. She's never been too impressed with anyplace in Florida."
    "Where's she from?"
    "Vermont. Rutland, Vermont. Why?"
    "That's probably why Florida never impressed her, ma'am. It's nothing but jungle or beach. She grew up in the Green Mountains. Does she have any family left up there?"
    "Yes, but if she wanted to be there, she'd be there. Money isn't a problem. She's worth about fifteen million."
    "How much of it can she reach, though? It's probably all tied up in settlements."
    "No, not all of it. Her cash award was two million three."
    "Wowsers. With that kind of a travel budget, seems likely the same would apply to anywhere on Earth; she'd be there if she wanted to be there. What about hobbies?"
    Selena laughed snidely, "Annoying her niece is the only one I'm sure of. No, wait, she's been talking about getting back into flying. She got a pilot's license back when her first husband had a Cessna. Got any other ideas?"
    "Nope," I replied, "Not really. Guess I'll just have to program a Cessna into the flitter. We'll wing it from there."
    Sel shook her head and grinningly groaned, "That was terrible, Ed."
    "Yes, ma'am. As you say, ma'am. Made you smile, though."
    "I still can't believe you're really going to do this."
    "Hey, you asked me to date your aunt and she's pretty much an older version of you. What kind of fool would I be not to try for her?"
    Her gaze narrowing, Selena said in a rather ominous tone, "Don't make me regret this, Ed."
    "You already regret it, ma'am."
    "You know what I mean."
    "I'll be the soul of discretion, milady."
    She sighed, "Somehow I don't feel reassured, Ed. Look, she may be a total pain in the ass, but she's my family, and..."
    A quick tapping sounded on a door, then the screen jolted suddenly and Selena and the room behind her seemed to slew sideways before it went dark. I could hear Sel's brief conversation with another woman about an account.
    I dimmed the screen sharply in anticipation. Sure enough, when the desk drawer was yanked open I was suddenly looking up at the glaring overhead lights of her office.
    "Oh, hell," muttered Selena, "If I broke it..."
    "You didn't," I said, adjusting the brightness, "I turned the screen dark so I wouldn't be blinded when you opened the drawer. Unless you have a new idea, I guess I'll ring off and try to figure out how to make myself irresistible to Jessie."
    "Um..." Sel began, but didn't finish.
    "Um, what?"
    Sel looked fidgety as she said, "Uh, well... aunt Jess always hated your golf shoes. What else could you wear?"
    "Sneaks. Boots. I'll figure something out."
    "Would you consider wearing a suit? You only make one first impression, Ed."
    "Very true, ma'am, and I made it with your aunt Jessie years ago. I'd need a damned good reason to be in a suit when I drop by, and you haven't thought of one yet."
    Looking a bit exasperated, Selena asked, "Well, you'd be taking her to dinner, wouldn't you?"
    "Assuming she'll even acknowledge my presence, I can try. What kind of food does she like?"
    "Italian. German. Just about any kind in small doses, I think. She looks more for ambiance in a restaurant."
    Her emphasis on the word 'ambiance' made me chuckle.
    "Oh, wonderful. That usually means way too much decor and too little food on the plate. Or worse."
    Another rapping on Sel's door made her look away from the screen and I said, "Tell me to be at your place by five, Sel."
    "What? Why? I won't get home before six. Or later."
    "Figured that. Just say it so I won't be lying when I say you told me to be there at five, okay?"
    "Oh. Uh... Okay. Be there by five, Ed."
    I replied, "As you command, milady. Bye," and dropped the link to her pad as I considered my next steps.
    Fact... there was no point in trying to cobble together a plan. To make any form of non-hostile contact with Jessie, I'd need her own input on the matter... some point of connection that would make being with me seem worth her while.
    Okay, then. A fishing expedition. Old friend of Selena -- me -- offers to take everybody to dinner? But why would I do that, out of the blue? Celebration? Of what? Holiday spirit? Hoo-hah. Sel -- and her aunt -- knew the holidays could easily sneak past me if everybody'd just shut up about them.
    Maybe a secret? 'Can't say why, but just had to share the excitement?' Lame, very lame. And it would call for some noticeable level of excitement.
    Well, no, it wouldn't, necessarily. Just show up with a fatuous smile and a secret and offer to spring for dinner. If nothing else, it could open the door for conversation. What the hell. If nothing better surfaced, that would do.

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